But that?s a joke... of course I won?t kill anyone. Take my word on this. The Department of Homeland Security might discover too late that my 9mm Beretta is really just a cleverly painted mini-Super Soaker. Then you all would be robbed of all these really cool reviews.
Instead of filling you full of lead, answer me this: What is your favorite James Bond theme song?
This answer is only slightly less challenging than naming your favorite Bond girl (or landing a 747 with your hands and feet tied, or defusing an atomic bomb with just your teeth and a paper clip, or repeatedly causing the most evil villains in the world to blow up perfectly serviceable laboratories, usually all by themselves).
The parallels between Bond tunes and Bond girls are startlingly close in some ways. For example, some of each seem inexplicably stuck in amber from some distant and slightly un-hip time period (Matt Munro?s ?From Russia With Love? from the movie of the same name and the overly solemn Jane Seymour as Solitare in Live and Let Die). Some are so classic they defy both growing old and being pigeon-holed (anything by Shirley Bassey and Louis Armstrong?s ?We Have All the Time in the World? from On His Majesty?s Secret Service, along with the incomparable Diana Rigg?s Tracy Vicenzo and a write-in vote for Honor Blackman?s Pussy Galore). And some that are so amazingly whack as to defy rational judgment (Lulu using ?The Man With the Golden Gun? to work the kinks out of her vocal chords and Tom Jones being, well... Tom Jones with ?Thunderball? come to mind, as do Ursula Andress? Honey Ryder and Halle Berry?s Jinx).
Copy Disclaimer: The views expressed in the above paragraph are solely those of the reviewer and are probably not shared by anyone else on the planet, much less by the editors of Game Vortex. So there... neeneer neener!
Back to the review: While the The Best of Bond... James Bond compilation CD isn?t new, it is one of the best around. All the tracks are by the original artists and there is even a bonus recording of the 007 theme that was never used in a film and never before released. It doesn?t take a spy to know that this is the goods, just someone with a certain amount of... er, intelligence.
The CD in question was also picked up in the shop at the International Spy Museum in Washington, D.C. The mission of the International Spy Museum is to educate the public about espionage in an engaging manner and to provide a dynamic context that fosters understanding of its important role in and impact on current and historic events. The Museum focuses on human intelligence and reveals the role spies have played in world events throughout history.
That last part was typed verbatim from the museum?s Web site with double error checking. Errors are not to be tolerated. Mistakes are punishable by death.
Wait a minute. We?re taking this a little seriously, aren?t we? This is just a review of a music CD, after all...
The museum is actually a pretty cool and active place. It screens spy movies from time to time, runs educational programs for visiting classes and tours, provides Spy City tours of Washington, and even schedules one-of-a-kind special events (a recent dinner with noted spy Victor Cherkashin was a sell out). The museum also has a shop where you?ll find fingerprint kits to a $375 Casio camera watch and everything in between.
Getting straight to the facts of the case, if you?re in Washington, D.C. with a few perilous hours on your hands, drop by the International Spy museum. It?s located within the Pennsylvania Quarter neighborhood and stretches the entire city block between 9th and 8th Streets at 800 F St. NW. If you?re being followed, check your decoder ring for messages.
Any other time you?re tooling around looking for a mission, check out The Best of Bond... James Bond.
It?s got a license to thrill.
