I saw You Might Be A Zombie from across the room; our eyes met, my heart jumped, and my pants tightened uncomfortably.
I knew their type. Always full of snappy witticisms and wry sensibilities that sweep you off your feet. They string you along with interesting tidbits of information like recounting the story of the most badass U.S. President in history, Teddy Roosevelt. Ol' Rough Ridin' Teddy was once shot in the chest before an inauguration speech and instead of seeking medical attention, he shrugged the bullet wound off like a bear shrugs off frightened campers near picnic baskets. Bet you didn't know that, did you? Well, the more You Might Be A Zombie and I talked about things, the more I realized how much I didn't know.
As the night wore on, I read about colors that control our thoughts. I hung on every word about weaponized tornadoes during World War II. I lamented over important women who were shunned by history because they had two X chromosomes. Terrifying delicacies from around the world, like fermented mouse wine, piqued my interest for hours. You Might Be A Zombie and I shared a special moment that night. A moment I will never forget.
You Might Be A Zombie knew the right things to say. Though, to be fair, with a team of over 30 writers, finding the right words is like finding the right breaths of air, but I was enthralled all the same. Every sentence bounced around in my head and the visions of You Might Be A Zombie and me were more fervent and real than before. I couldn't deny my feelings. Tears ran down my cheeks and across my smile as I went deeper into You Might Be A Zombie's thick pulp. This was true happiness, this moment between You Might Be A Zombie and me. I had hoped it could last forever.
I woke up groggy and confused the next morning. You Might Be A Zombie had already tidied up and retreated back to the comforting seclusion of the shelf. Part of me was angry that it was over so quickly. I was angry that the night before meant nothing to You Might Be A Zombie, although, I never lost my cool. Instead, I remembered the moment we met. The rose-tinted memories of the night before stumbled through my head, but that's when it hit me. I should have paid more attention because the message was crystal clear: You Might Be A Zombie and Other Bad News! Shocking but Utterly True Facts!.
It was shocking, the truth that I found. I knew I could never keep something like You Might Be A Zombie to myself. A free spirit will always run with the wind, enticing the lucky few along the way. I was no longer angry, but accepting. So you see, the truth is (as shocked as I was) that You Might Be A Zombie isn't just the best thing that happened to me that one night, it affected me for the rest of my life.
They say you never forget your first. Well, for me, I will never forget what I found between the covers with You Might Be A Zombie.
