When I think of Rumble Roses, I think of one word: “gratuitous.” However, with a “Mature” rating, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Rumble Roses celebrates the fact that we’ve moved beyond the 2D pixilated games of yesterday and stepped into a future with the ability to render realistic, believable, and even tantalizing T&A in real-time and under your control.

For those of us, that is, those of you, who think, “This is all great, but why have the girls fight?” You’ll be pleasantly surprised to discover the Gallery mode. The gallery mode takes you “behind-the-scenes” or, more to the point, into the locker room where you’ll get to watch the girls warm up for their next match by exercising... in their skimpy outfits... with a controllable camera... that can zoom. You control the angle, from a low angle up-skirt to a high angled down-blouse and anything in between. It also appears that the models are designed separately from the models of the clothes, because at just the right angle, you can see out of the top of a girl’s shirt when looking up from beneath her skirt. Or so I hear.

The only complaint I would have in the way of graphics is the occasional clipping problem -- where hair will cross through an arm or one opponent will grab “through” another -- both in gameplay and in the pre-rendered CGI. I am more tolerant of the in-game stuff, since the appearance may be flawed, but the gameplay is not affected. However, the CGI is something that could have been painstakingly adjusted until it was perfect. Even if the clipping issues were not fixed, a careful choice of camera angles could have easily avoided this being a visible problem. And, with Rumble Roses being a game so heavily dependent on appearances, this seems somewhat inexcusable.

The music consists of original compositions, with each wrestler having her own theme music. The themes have a decidedly Asian feel to them, but seem to match the characters well and add to the “Professional Wrestling” feel of the game.

The voices are also nicely done, reinforcing the characters’ personas. The script of the Story Mode is a bit lame, in a “B Film meets Soap Opera meets Porno Film meets Jerry Springer Show” sort of way. Some of the dialog in Rumble Roses will make Resident Evil look like Shakespearean theater. All the same, the porno-like dialog is not necessarily out of place, given the skimpiness of the costumes and the sexually suggestive holds and moves. When these girls say “You’re going down!” they mean it.

I think Rumble Roses’ gameplay is best summed up by its ESRB content rating badge:
Mature. Sexual Themes. Violence.

Of course, as is with most things that are labeled “Mature,” it is actually fairly immature and carries with it a certain “tongue-in-cheek” sort of humor. Rumble Roses presents a wrestling game with all the expected accoutrements, from pins and taunts to off-the-ropes flying leaps and over-the-ropes throws. You’ve got weapons easily within reach (just outside of the ring) and “humiliation” moves that add the theatrics expected of modern day wrestling. The difference here is that it’s all-girl-all-the-time and the moves, modes, and camera work was designed with their target audience in mind. This is never more evident than in the inclusion of the Gallery mode and the Com Battle, both of which are opportunities to watch the graphics of the game without having to use a controller, keeping your hands free to handle anything that “comes up” unexpectedly.

The Story mode gives you a chance to become more familiar with each character’s backsides backgrounds; completing this mode opens up each character’s multiple outfits as well as their alter-ego. The included “Mud Match” is a gratuitous extra treat, tossing in the element of mud wrestling in all its wet, glistening glory. The Gallery mode lets you work the camera to get a more intimate view on the girls more private parts. Um, that is, a more intimate view of the girls. Well, you get the idea.

Getting used to the control can be a bit difficult; mastering it would take both hands -- and a lot of time. With a little bit of playing around, you can learn enough to win bouts. To truly master the control in Rumble Roses to the point of knowing exactly what the move you’re executing is going to do and look like would take a good bit of studying and practice.

When playing through the Story mode, it seems that the overall difficulty seems to increase through the different opponents and also with each girl’s story that is completed. Also, since you can’t save your progress in the Story mode, you’ll need to block out some time when you want to progress in this mode.

The beauty of Rumble Roses is that it’s fun to watch regardless of whether you win or lose. I find myself cheering just as often when my opponent pulls a particularly naughty move on me. It’s quite simply... entertaining.

For the most part, Rumble Roses is a well-built game. I did find the rate at which you can unlock things to be a bit slow for my taste (especially in unlocking all of the girls in Gallery mode). This was a bit surprising for a game that seems to pander to the baser instincts.

One thing that’s bound to annoy players is the “pregnant pause” that occurs for no obvious reason from time to time while playing Rumble Roses. You’ve just been grappled by your opponent and you’re waiting to see if you’ll be able to break free before you’re pummeled and, it seems, so is the computer. Your opponent simply holds you there for a while doing nothing and then, a little bit later, the match resumes. I could understand it if your opponent was taunting you or something, but it feels more like they’re waiting to come back from a station break. It’s not a major drawback, but from time to time, it gets to be aggravating.

This game makes no false pretenses about what you get. And for what it does, it’s pretty good. Run out and buy a copy today... um, for your friend. Yeah that’s it. It’s for a friend of yours...