The minute I saw the art on the cover, I had nostalgic flashes of Final Fight, and the equally brawltastic, Streets of Rage. Unfortunately, Beatdown: Fists of Vengeance, is only a mere shadow of those classic games.

Graphically, this title has some decent effects. The character models are pretty gritty and urban looking, as well as being smoothly animated too. The cut scenes are surprinsingly well done, with some sharp CG going on. As you progress and take some wear ‘n tear, your fighter will show visible signs of damage; bruises, cuts it’s all here in grisly detail. You won’t be the only ugly mug though; the same scars show up on your enemies as well. Speaking of getting messed up, if you imbibe some lousy alcohol or drugs, your screen will go frat party woozy on you, making true the term “drunken boxing”. The models seem to leap off the screen at times, though in part due to the drab backgrounds, although you may see a lot of similarity between friend and foe. While the lighting is solid, the colors are overly dark and muddy. The textures of cars, buildings, and other environmental elements suffer from blurriness. There are also a wealth of clipping issues throughout. Pretty sloppy overall.

Sound wise, each area has it’s own distinct musical score. However, this endless loop grows aggravating very soon. The voice acting is equally grating, with some piss poor accents, and downright imbecilic dialogue. Of course we can’t expect these street brawling thugs to recite Shakespearean verse… but it just sounds like every Stallone - no, Segal line compiled into a single game. Sound effects are your usual thumps and grunts of fighting games, very generic here.

Beatdown: Fists of Vengeance plays out like most fighting games, but also throws in a bit of storyline for good measure. You can choose from 5 characters to start, all equally peeved at the world. After some marginal story about being double-crossed, you get the privilege of going on a vengeful (ding ding!) spree of violence.

Along the way, you will make frequent stops at a local dive called The Hole, where you can upgrade your moves, get hints, and even grab some liquid refreshment. You have a host of moves at the ready, punches, kicks, super-moves, throws and also the various pipes, bricks and 2x4s to assault your enemies. Most of the gameplay consists of a myriad of face pummeling, mainly against dumb as nails minions.

The highlight comes in the one vs. one fights, facing heathens much like yourself, in drag-down, knock-down brawls. This will remind many of you of your classic fighter game, like Street Fighter, with various bars sprouting across the screen showing health and pride. The latter is basically what really counts, and once low enough, you get to set the terms of, ahem, surrender. One option is to recruit them into your seedy pool of punks, whereby you can call on them for help via cell phone. Hello Moto… (sorry, had to). These guys (up to 2) will help you fend off foes, and are reminiscent of your guards in Dynasty Warriors. They won’t do a whole lot, but they are better than nothing. You can also interrogate your defeated opponent, which sometimes will result in a plot detail or two. Your third option is to rob your punching bag of an enemy, which comes in pretty handy to get some new clothes, weapons and so on. Finally, you can choose to simply beat the snot out of the poor sap, which is pretty much an over-hyped version of a fatality, with whatever weapon you currently have. Messy and gory? Yes. Innovative and fun? No.

With the money you accrue from your dastardly ways, you can sport some pimped out threads. However, this plays an important role in the game. To decrease your threat level in various zones, you need to constantly change your clothing, something akin to the spray shops in GTA. But it doesn’t stop at the gear. You can also alter your eyes, face, facial hair and more. This whole threat system is a bit wonky though, so don’t be so confident that sporting a new goatee and tracksuit will clear you with the local homeboys. Along the way, you will gradually garner experience points that you can spend on attack, health, and technique, all making you even more of a badass.

Thanks to sub-par enemy A.I. and simplistic fighting mechanics, you should breeze through this sucker in a few days, no problem. 99.9% of gamers who haven’t been under a rock in the past 10 years will easily pick up on the basics very quickly. The one vs. one fights may throw a few wrenches into this system, but once you get a few under your belt, no one will be able to contend with you.

Sadly, having poor controls such as these really hampers the fun factor. It feels like someone dumped a bottle of syrup on my controller, very sluggish and slow. A funky camera that often gets stuck in odd places compounds this; alas this is the bane of many 3rd person games like these. The targeting system also skips a few beats, mis-aligning you frequently, and often in dire situations.

Frankly, Beatdown: Fists of Vengeance casts shame on the great history of Capcom and its awesome pedigree of fighting games. With weak graphics, stiff controls and repetitive gameplay, this title is a travesty at nearly $40. Just dust off your Genesis for some good ‘ol Streets of Rage action, and give this title a wide berth.