This weekend I had occasion to go out on a date. Dinner and a movie kind of thing...we actually went to hear music instead of a movie, but no matter. For dinner, I had tapas. If you haven't sampled tapas before, they are small servings of food that you combine to ostensibly make a dinner. The typical tapas menu is eclectic, and you can order any combination of dishes to make your meal. Presentation is usually especially nice in a tapas restaurant.

And why would you suffer boredom or gastronomic nostalgia to read this far? Because you know there's a point to be made. And yes, it's not a stretch to imagine that I'm going to compare Gangs of London to tapas. The analogy is perfect: If you like the idea of stringing together lots of eclectic little bits to make a meal, this game is a treat. If you like a juicy steak that sits like a bag of bolts in your gut and leaves your seams screaming the next day, you may find this game lacking in substance.

Compared to something like GTA, Gangs of London has at least the same amount of panache, if not more. Cutscenes are rendered in comic style, seemingly hand drawn. There is a decent level of detail in the game, but the city of London steals the show. Photorealism is alive and well as you tour the town or as you scramble through city streets fighting zombies or arresting protesters... Did I mention this was an eclectic mix?

There was equal attention paid to the sound design in Gangs of London. The voices are excellent, and although this whole shtick started with GTA, it never gets old. Characters are generally a predictable bunch, the usual urban cast. Minorities squabbling over turf, talking tough and backing it up with firepower. There are some nice accents, including several varieties of British, Russian and Asian. Little touches in the visual design carry over to sound, as in the flapping wings of birds as they scatter in front of your car. There isn't a great focus on music in Gangs of London, but there's plenty of rough language, in case you didn't catch the M rating on the front of the box. Some rough images match the rating, plenty of killing gangland style.

Gang battles for the conquest of London. Small goal, to be sure, but you'll find some way to keep occupied. Seriously, the game is huge and ambitious. Ambitious doesn't always equate to "good", but let's consider what is included in the package. You get the full-blown Story Mode that takes you through each of five gangs in a contest for who will reign supreme. Okay, I stole that from Iron Chef but the sentiment is mine... Each gang is not terribly different, so think of the progression as related more to difficulty and variety. Each mission along the way includes a slightly different set of goals, but the basics can be described in a few words. Drive. Shoot. Run. There just isn't much more in the main mode, which may explain the plethora of options outside Story Mode. If you never play anything else but the main game, you'll miss a huge number of fun mini-games that almost constitute freestanding titles. Imagine "Pub Game Supreme" and you're almost there. Two varieties of pool, a type of bowling called skittles, and darts are included here. You can play in progressively harder and harder competitions, or against a friend. I loved darts so much I went out and got a board for my garage.

Non-mission gameplay includes some weird variations like the zombie smash I mentioned earlier, and a tourist mode that plays similar to the Pokemon Snap! game that I used to love on N64. There is a Need for Speed variant and the requisite taxi simulator. These all make up the Free-Roaming play, separate from Story Mode. A five-way Gang Battle can be customized for you and some combination of human or virtual friends. The Pub includes games that can be played against A.I. opponents or passed back and forth between human opponents. The billiards simulation is surprisingly good, but instead of UK rules, it would have been better to have Snooker. There is plenty of action in Gangs of London that has nothing to do with the main mode. Each of the "special" modes can be played for awards or medals that represent the level of A.I. challenge. Why anyone felt the need to throw everything and the kitchen sink into this title, I don't know. It may have to do with a Story Mode that lacks depth. Driving, shooting and shooting-while-driving is not exactly a formula to overthrow the world, since it's already been done to death. The twist here might be how well the environment is realized, but little quirks in the game design and control left me flat.

At times, Gangs of London appears too difficult and at others, it fails to provide any challenge. "Phoning it in" on some levels doesn't exactly motivate me to keep playing, and plenty of random deaths await the gamer expecting taught controls and hairpin driving action. Lumbering around a photorealistic London would be one thing, but each part of the Story Mode is compressed so much that it doesn't showcase the city nearly enough. Playing in tight surroundings means little room for error, and the concession in design is that A.I. is sometimes artificially strong. Most times not, which means the seasoned gamer will blast through and be wanting more. Only the hardest levels of difficulty in the mini-game section felt truly demanding and appropriately frustrating. Say what you will about save points and a compartmentalized gaming experience as the antidote for frustration. I'll take a tough, well-designed epic over this series of choppy chapters any day.

Controls in general are fine. Control in a vehicle is crap. With so much focus on driving, you would assume that the cars might handle well enough. The difference between sporty cars and others is that sporty cars feel totally out of control, while the others just feel somewhat that way. Most times during missions, you get no opportunity to really stretch out and get a feel for the cars. A few "chase or be chased" missions will test your driving skills and the poor edge detection that comes at no additional charge with Gangs of London. Bumping a bumper will leave you deader in the road than an armadillo . Not since the first Wipeout have we seen such drastic physics. The foot-based missions are fine from a control standpoint and even include some team combat that has you directing other members of the gang. Rudimentary, and not nearly enough of a focus during the game, but still worthy of respect. The style of controls during Pub Game Mode is intuitive and responsive, almost as if a totally different team had worked on the pub action.

Not to say that Gangs of London is a poor game, but an uninspiring venture. The credits and opening sequences are enough to get anyone excited, and the game's special modes show some creativity. In the end, however, mediocrity follows almost every mode with the exception of a few pub games. If the search to out-GTA GTA could cease now, I'd be very happy. Trying to design a mission-based game is hard enough and when you try to incorporate driving, squad combat and mini-games into the formula, the soup becomes a stew. Or, the steak dinner becomes tapas fare. Gangs of London is a big, beautiful mess, kind of like most of my girlfriends from college. But let's save that for another time, okay?