Up until I was about 10, I suffered from cynophobia. It didn't matter whether the dogs were unconditionally friendly, protective of their owners, or genuinely mean. To me, they were foreign, alien, creatures to be feared. I'm glad I never had the chance to play Dead to Rights: Retribution until now. This brutal third-person action game puts you in control of two incredibly violent characters -- one of them a vice cop who's arguably more Rorschach than Batman, the other a near-feral Siberian Husky. Dead to Rights: Retribution is riddled with flaws, but it's the ideal rental.

Grant City is an ugly place, and the game's visuals occasionally follow suit. A large number of enemy character models are cloned, but the game's story gives a good-enough excuse for that. Several of the combat animations, most notably the takedowns, look spastic and unrealistic. There are also some instances of visual weirdness; such as an enemy breaching through a window by simply phasing through it. That being said, Dead to Rights: Retribution can look decent at times. Our anti-heroes Jack and Shadow look great, despite the fact that the vice cop looks like a ripped Nathan Drake. Maybe that's not fair; the Dead to Rights franchise is much older than the PlayStation 3's killer app. The framerate never becomes a problem during the bloody and satisfying action.

Retribution's sound design hits the highs and lows of the action genre. Sound effects are a bit on the boring side, with the exception of Shadow's stealth kills. The sound of a throat being torn out is up there with the bone-cracking, raw-meat pounding noises heard in Manhunt. The voice acting is largely solid, but be warned: there's an awful lot of profanity, and most of it is gratuitous. No, it's not as offensive or ridiculous as it is in games like Rogue Warrior, but pretty much everyone drops F-bombs except for Shadow... and he's a dog. On the plus side, anyone who's played Metal Gear Solid will instantly recognize Paul Eiding as Frank Slate. The music occasionally sounds great, but a lack of variation and a tendency to loop holds the soundtrack back from greatness.

Dead to Rights: Retribution has a largely forgettable plot, but there are moments of brightness here and there. The story begins in medias res, as GCPD vice cop Jack Slate stumbles off a tugboat with an injured arm... onto a Triad-infested pier. He's been double-crossed and wronged in the worst way, and he's spilled gallons upon gallons of blood on his quest for answers and vengeance. The story flashes back and allows you to play through the missions that lead to the opening scene. It's vaguely interesting; the actions of a left-wing terrorist organization are eventually revealed as part of one horrible human being's self-righteous pipe dream.

As I mentioned, Jack Slate is more Rorschach than he is Batman. This cop has no time for Miranda rights; the people he deals with are scumbags who probably don't deserve the luxuries afforded by the American justice system. Therefore, his standard operating procedure is that ancient video game objective: kill 'em all. Jack's attitude towards violent criminals serves the gameplay well, but the game's script seems to forget how he works. Consider the scene where Jack marvels at how his enemy is "judge, jury, and executioner all wrapped up in one nasty package." Bear in mind, Jack spent the previous five hours massacring hundreds of thugs.

Dead to Rights: Retribution is almost indistinguishable from other third-person cover shooters. You'll traverse a number of linear stages while taking down enemies in any way that you can. Headshots are the most efficient way to get the job done, but there's only one instance in the game in which you have more than two clips of ammunition. Luckily, Jack can mix things up a good bit. He can opt for fisticuffs instead of guns, and he can also sic Shadow on pretty much anyone. When Shadow takes the spotlight, Retribution is almost always at its best.

I played through Dead to Rights: Retribution on Detective, the most difficult of the three settings you can choose from. The first half of this game is very easy. Once you reach the sixth mission, things get rough. This horribly-designed level throws a number of no-escape scenarios at you -- sequences in which there is almost no cover and an overabundance of powerful enemies. It also features the game's flat-out worst stealth sequence.

The cover system tends to work well most of the time, but the cover itself doesn't always guarantee safety. Some of it is destructible, but Jack occasionally fails to get his head out of the open. Remember how some of the enemies in Gears of War left themselves open to attack even while in cover? Retribution lets you experience that for yourself.

A grading system opens the door for Achievements and score-based play, but in order to score a gold medal, you must be diverse with your tactics. This doesn't work out the way the developers intended; later missions introduce scenarios that can only be survived through carefully-placed gunshots. Just because Jack Slate can choose to go the honorable route doesn't mean that other enemies won't shoot him in the back while he's playing his own violent variation on mixed martial arts fighting.

The tactics used by Jack Slate emphasize efficiency and brutality the whole way through. His enemies are irredeemable scumbags, and it's a delight to punish them. You can go for the headshots if you want, but getting in close is rewarding in and of itself. Jack can deliver a good old-fashioned beatdown; if he weakens his enemy to a certain state, he can perform a hand-to-hand takedown. These usually result in broken necks and limbs, but you can add the use of your weapon by pulling the trigger at the appropriate time (yes, that includes the rocket launcher). The tactic I found myself using the entire time revolved around the hostage mechanic. By grappling with an enemy and pressing the (X) button, you can take an enemy hostage and use him as mobile cover. When you're done with him, you can kick him off a balcony or let Shadow finish him off.

My very first action in Dead to Rights: Retribution earned me an achievement called "Scrotality." That should at least give you an idea of how much fun it is to play as Shadow. Slinking around in the dark before going in for the kill is extremely enjoyable, and every silent approach is rewarded with a horrifying kill animation. Most of these kill animations are recycled; there are no more than three or four. However, tearing out an enemy's throat and clawing his chest to shreds doesn't ever get old. Shadow can sense the heartbeats of his enemies to determine their awareness, and he can bark loudly or quietly to lure them away from safety. The stealth isn't as refined as it is in other games such as Batman: Arkham Asylum, but the brutal takedowns keep it from being a generic experience.

I've referred to Dead to Rights: Retribution as a guilty pleasure along the lines of 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand (if you've never played it, don't you dare judge me). It's a game for the undiscriminating action fan; one that asks that you stop thinking and just enjoy the ride. Dead to Rights: Retribution is not good enough to be considered as a purchase, but there are certainly far worse ways to spend a weekend.