It pains me to review Iron Man 2 for a number of reasons. The most significant reason has to do with the fact that the game's developer, Sega Studios San Francisco (formerly known as Secret Level), recently closed down. In my mind, this Iron Man 2 review is the journalistic equivalent of a eulogy that openly trashes the departed's youngest child. I just feel bad about it. Still, I won't lie -- nor will I hold the game to higher standards. All you need to know is that Iron Man 2 is rubbish, plain and simple.

Boring, boring, boring. From the laughable flight speed to the shoddy character models to the "phase out" destruction physics, Iron Man 2 is boring in nearly every facet of its visual execution. Iron Man has been reduced to Iron Grandma; if you were hoping to go all Chuck Yeager, too bad. In fact, if you were hoping to be able to go faster than most speed limits, too bad. I can almost understand why the developers did this -- you don't want to be smashing into the environment at every turn. Still, it's like a Spider-Man game without web swinging. The final boss could have been awesome, but the control inconsistencies team up with the horrible camera in a joint effort to make the player seasick.

Iron Man 2 sounds alright. The music and sound effects are worthy of a shrug, but the voice acting is the game's only significant redeeming factor. Don Cheadle and Samuel L. Jackson reprise their roles as James Rhodes/War Machine and Nick Fury. Their performances aren't Riddick-caliber, but they aren't phone-ins, either. Sorry, there's no Robert Downey Jr., but Eric Loomis (an Iron Man veteran) absolutely runs away with the part. The end credits roll to the sound of Lamb of God's "Hit the Wall," and I'm pretty sure I heard some Meshuggah in there, too.

Let's start with the good stuff. Iron Man 2's script (co-written by Marvel's Matt Fraction) is unquestionably the game's strongest component, even if the story that carries it isn't as good. Hearing Tony Stark joke around even in the face of almost certain death is always great. The story, which does not follow the recently-released film, is about a disgruntled former Stark Industries employee who copies Tony's A.I. butler Jarvis... and turns the cloned program into something deadly. So it's up to Tony and Rhodey (who now has his very own suit) to stop the man.

Iron Man 2 is chock full of simplistic vanilla action. The game isn't completely broken, but it suffers from the most unwanted flaw in gaming: it's not fun to play. Every time you see something interesting or find something new, the potential excitement is killed by that one omnipresent flaw.

In each mission, you fly around each level picking off enemies and completing special objectives. These objectives generally don't get any more interesting than "go here," "destroy this," and "protect them." In fact, it rarely deviates from "go to the yellow blip and blow stuff up." Since the level design is dull and repetitive, the game is forced to lean back on its mechanics. Unfortunately, they aren't sound.

I've never played the first Iron Man, but I've heard about the difficulty issues. On the default setting, Iron Man 2 is not a tough game. However, it is a frustrating one. You might get knocked out every now and then, but a somewhat generous checkpoint system keeps you moving forward. I say "somewhat," because if you die, the game does not fill your armor/health ring up.

What I really hate about Iron Man 2 is how it never lets you see what you need to see. If you're concentrating on a group of enemies, you need to remember that Tony/Rhodey can be attacked from any angle. When enemies launch projectiles at your character, a tap of the (B) button deflects them back. You'd think this would belong in the next section, but since it doesn't always work, you can expect a lot of frustrating and unexpected knockbacks.

You can beat Iron Man 2 from beginning to end in about three hours. Maybe that's a good thing.

Most of Iron Man 2's missions allow you the choice to play as either Iron Man or War Machine. They don't control any differently, but their weapons systems are a bit different. Iron Man makes use of energy-based weaponry, while War Machine is fitted with munitions and heavy weapons. Both characters get the job done, but if this is the developer's attempt at replay value, it doesn't work. If a game's not fun, you won't want to play it twice. Hell, after the first two missions, I didn't even want to finish it once.

Iron Man 2's targeting system is a complete mess. If the film's Iron Man suit had the game's reticle, poor Tony would have found his repulsors targeting butterflies that got between him and Whiplash. It's extremely frustrating to battle a larger enemy when peons fly in front of you, stealing the reticle away from what you intended to destroy.

As you complete missions, you earn a type of currency called Field Data. Between missions, you can use that Field Data to upgrade and customize your suits. From weapons to combat training to performance-enhancing modules, there are several ways to make your own loadout. The system shows a bit of promise, but it too is held back by the game's inability to entertain.

What an unfortunate final product. This is a property that anyone in their right mind would consider fertile for game development, but for some reason, nobody's found out how to make it work. Iron Man 2 gets Tony Stark right, but that's what the movies are for. This game is supposed to get Iron Man right, but it doesn't even come close.