Yaiba: Ninja Gaiden Z is a prime example on how to murder a franchise without allowing it to salvage its dignity. None of what this action game has to offer even comes close to the dizzying heights this storied series used to practically reside in. It's ugly in body and in soul, and in the end, amounts to just a little bit more than artless trash. Thematically, this is by design, but underneath its disgusting façade is a poorly-made game. There are some flashes of excitement that threaten to surface every now and then, but the haphazard combat, horrible boss fights, and meritless script smother them so consistently that in the end, this game isn't even worth a look.

Sure, the Ninja Gaiden series hasn't been known for amazing graphics -- at least, not since the original reboot appeared on the original Xbox. And it's all been downhill from there. Ultimately, this steady decline terminates with Yaiba, which tries to do something different, but with disastrous results. Team Ninja games used to be almost shiny; remember how amazing Ryu's combat suit looked? Now, under the direction of fellow triumverate developers Spark Unlimited and Comcept, they've tried to move this franchise into comic book territory. This game is cel-shaded, but instead of being stylish and attractive, it just comes across as drab and ugly. Every now and then, the game drops a sight gag on you. These are usually quite funny and are enough to get a chuckle out of you. However, you'll see several of the same character models recycled ad nauseam, with palette swaps to let you know if there's an elemental difference.

I don't think I've ever played a Ninja Gaiden game that featured competent voice acting, despite the best efforts of veterans such as the ubiquitous (but no less great) Troy Baker. However, Yaiba's script conspires with its voice cast to produce a sound experience that is almost aggressive in its badness. Yaiba himself is impossible to root for, and his voice alone is enough to make you hate his ugly guts. The music fares no better; in keeping with its juvenile bent, there's a whole lot of wub wub to accompany the bloodshed.

Okay. Lesson two on how to murder a franchise. Two words: add zombies. It makes sense that Yaiba: Ninja Gaiden Z is willing to go there. When Call of Duty games boast them as a tremendous selling point and horrible games like Dead Island end up with a "Game of the Year" edition, the undead are apparently where the money is. Only one game of the past generation legitimized zombies, and that was The Last of Us. But hey, the schlock factor can be a good thing -- look no further than Dead Rising.

Unfortunately, Yaiba's moronic revenge yarn pushes that factor beyond the pale, resulting in a script that is best at acquainting your face with your palm. Look, I'm a bad taste connoisseur, and I absolutely love offensive humor -- especially if it's perceived by others as just plain cruel. But juvenile writing for the sake of itself is not inherently funny. Someone forgot to tell that to Yaiba, the cyborg ninja asshole star of this spinoff. This is easily one of the biggest losers I've ever had the misfortune of playing as, and I was rooting against him throughout my entire playthrough. Here's the story. Yaiba hates franchise star Ryu Hayabusa for some reason. They fight. Yaiba is nearly bisected. He is rebuilt as a cyborg and given new life... just as the zombie apocalypse happens. So he goes after his quarry while clearly not giving a crap about what his benefactors want from him.

Yaiba: Ninja Gaiden Z is a linear character action game in the same vein as God of War, Devil May Cry and, yes, its legendary heritage. You simply proceed forward, killing everything in sight and figuring out ways to keep going forward. Most of the time, you'll be fighting legions of same-skinned grunts, or "stiffs." Other times, you'll be engaging in some rather exciting (but guided) parkour and some boring environmental puzzles that revolve around zombies that are imbued with some element (fire, electricity, bile). It's all very standard stuff, but as I mentioned before, it's just not well put together.

Well, here we are; the cornerstone of Ninja Gaiden. The original was nearly perfect in its design; for every situation presented to the player, there was a solution. The tools were there, and it was our job to figure out how, when, and where to use them. Ninja Gaiden II lost sight of the ball a little bit and took an unwelcome jaunt into cheap territory. Ninja Gaiden III got beaned and stumbled around in an idiotic stupor for several hours, before wising up and getting it right with Razor's Edge. To continue the baseball metaphor, Yaiba: Ninja Gaiden Z bats the umpire in the head and takes a dump on home plate. Most of the game is tremendously easy, the screen is often crowded with stiffs just begging you to kill them off, and the simple execution mechanic allows you to replenish your health at nearly every turn.

During a few key boss encounters, the feed line dries up and the idiots vacate the premises, leaving you to fend for yourself against a boss that interrupts your attacks and defends itself ferociously while taking massive chunks of your health away with single hits. These boss fights are atrocious and should have been scrapped entirely.

Remember how complex and deep the combat systems from Ninja Gaiden and Ninja Gaiden II were? Well, Yaiba: Ninja Gaiden Z's combat is the counter-argument to that brilliance. It's set up to succeed: Yaiba has a sword, a powerful robotic fist, and a devastating flail at his disposal. After dealing a set amount of damage, Yaiba can then execute weakened enemies; these can be chained together for experience bonuses and the only form of health pickups in the game.

So what is it that makes this combat system fail? Well, the enemies you face don't often encourage you to experiment with combos. Ultimately, you'll stick with the same one over and over again, and that's not Ninja Gaiden -- it's Dynasty Warriors, perhaps the most braindead action franchise on the planet. Frankly, I would always beeline to the center of a particularly large swarm and then execute Yaiba's equivalent to Ryu's famed Izuna Drop. This move almost always results in several executable enemies, which can then be removed from the field with ease.

Certain elements to the combat system remove the emphasis from performing combos and focus instead on causing as much damage with as little effort as possible. Specific enemies, when executed, drop special weapons (usually body parts) which Yaiba can then weaponize and use for maximum destruction. On top of that, the Bloodlust mechanic sends Yaiba into an invulnerable rage for a few precious seconds; this mechanic is governed by a meter that is filled as you dispatch enemies.

It's safe to say that I'm over Ninja Gaiden: the talent that once drove this franchise to its former level of prestige is clearly long gone, and those who remain, as well meaning as they may be, are simply unable to capture what made it special. So it's with a heavy heart that I strongly recommend that you pass on Yaiba: Ninja Gaiden Z.