This is the game you boot up and say, ''Haven't I seen you before?'' To some degree, fishing games can all start to look the same, but at this point in the gaming continuum, to have introduced Big Bass Fishing is perplexing at best. The only fishing game I've ever really fallen in love with was EA Sports' Championship Bass, largely because it looked good, played good, and by God, it WAS good. Looking at Big Bass Fishing, one can only assume it is the follow-up title to the other budget fishing game from Take 2 Interactive, Action Bass. But, why this game might actually be worse than its predecessor (if there is an actual connection) is quite beyond me. Not only does the underwater footage look like it was shot through a wet tissue with a disposable videocamera, but the alternate view (no you can't do a split-screen) shows the back view of a babe, and we get to listen to her 'ooh' and 'aah' over the fish actually getting on the line and staying there. If you're wondering about the voice-over, let's just say my wife heard me playing in the other room and thought I was watching porn... Over the top? Oh yeah.

Foregoing the Aquarium mode present in 'Action,' Big Bass Fishing has only 3 main modes. Arcade puts you out in a boat with a time limit and a fish quota. Competition Mode is made up of 5 different sub-contests, and Challenge Mode is built on 3 different styles of play. The Challenge Mode like Arcade is timed, but with a specific goal for the type of fish and size. Once levels are opened up in Challenge, you can take them into Competition. Each choice in Competition Mode is based on different criteria for success. Generally speaking, you're either looking for the biggest amount of fish, the single biggest catch, or the lowest time with the most fish. Or, you can just practice, without the pressure of time.

I won't insult your intelligence by pointing out that all those modes sound pretty much exactly like one another, but I will say that I was shocked to find that once in my boat, I couldn't even troll around the lake. The boat has a mysterious way of only moving left and right, set to the requisite 'motor boat sound.' Once you feel you're far enough left or right, you pick a lure and cast. The casting mechanism is you watching the person on the boat pull her line back and hitting a button when you feel she's pulled back far enough. Imprecise? Sure it is! When the lure hits the water, you'll switch to an underwater view and see the fish float through water, rock, boats, docks...all thanks to the magic of poor edge detection. Once a fish bites, you set the hook and reel him in. Periodically, you'll be favored with a look at the fish jumping out of the water, and the caption, ''It's a jumper!!'' You have to keep track of line tension or risk breaking a line and going through the whole miserable process again. One incredibly realistic touch I noticed was the inclusion of power-ups underwater where you can snag them with your lure and give yourself 'super' reeling and luring power or a time bonus. Why oh why?

Difficult is building a bridge or making a good omelette. Difficult is explaining to a cop why you felt it necessary to go 50 in a 25 zone. Difficult is buying this game, putting it into your PSOne or PS2 and not immediately biting off one of your own fingers or toes. The burning desire to inflict bodily harm on yourself after getting what you thought was a 'really good deal' on a fishing game, only to find out that what you really purchased was one coaster at the price you usually pay for a whole set, may be too much to bear. Either buy 4 copies and invite your friends over for a frosty beverage, or stay the hell away from this stinker.

Talking about the mechanics of Big Bass Fishing is like talking about the mechanics of playing a triangle. You know, the thing in the orchestra made of metal? The little triangle-shaped instrument hit infrequently by a percussionist just to satisfy the Triangle Makers Union, Local #341? Well, there's nothing under the hood here, and it's not worth beating this down for all the glitches and problems since I hope it's clear I've been screaming at you for the last 500 words to Pass On This Game. If you really want to nitpick or fight me, please just go check out the 'somewhere between Okay and Bad' game Take 2 created called Action Bass. I'd wager it actually is a lot more fun, even though it came out at least a year ago and probably costs about 5 or 6 dollars now. And, if you really want to do some videogame fishing, do yourself a favor and put a copy of Championship Bass in that PSOne or PS2. Unless you're just trying to be the gamer who played EVERY PlayStation game ever made, this game is best left on the shelf.